Home Feedback

Jen

I thought your opening picure was good, it showed that you are always at home because home has to do with you. You have many different "homes" that you make your home. The apartment picture gave me a sense of fun that you have with your roommates. The dialogue and the picture go well together, with the picture of you guys making dinner together and then talking about it in the paragraph. The Petra page showed you on vacation. In the text I got the sense that you are a spontaneous person who handles adversity well. I wish however that you talked more about Petra. What exactly is there that you wanted to see?

Safiya

The opening picture was a picture of graffiti with your name. I didnt get a feel of any relationship from the picture however. After I read the text I realized that your sister drew that for you and then I got the connection. I especially liked that you gave goals for your paper and what we can expect from your paper. The frienemies page was a nice twist to what we have seen. Through your deception we learned how close you and your sister really are. The page with the flag shows your pride for your country. I wish you would have explained more about your country though.

Eddie

You began with a picture of your family in Albania. I got a clear picture of what home was to you. In your text you should avoid speaking directly about the photograph, rather tell a story about what you are showing. The picture of your mom and brother showed a good relationship; however you didnt talk about the relationship in your paragraph. In general I think you should include more stories rather than generalzations.