Ling's Project

He brings and draws your attention with the music. He writes how music when is not forced, meaning for a music class requirement and you do it for own pleasure is more enjoyable. He took a picture of a Canon camera that represents the many places and the moments he has capture with it. There is another image of when night falls which I find to be very inspirational. He tells you a story that brings you in closer to his life and his experiences. Though, he has a few grammar errors I find his writings to be deep and sincere.

Yael's Project

She begins with a picture of her and her siblings on a family trip in New Hampshire. It's a yearly trip that Yael and her family take together. She wants the audience to know that family means alot to her. You see the mountains, skyline and beauty of nature which represents simplicity, and humbleness.
Her next picture is of her baseball glove. She wants the audience to capture her passion for baseball since she was a litttle girl. Baseball was the excuse to bring family together on sundays. The only critique I have about this image was that she talks alot about her family but is just a picture of a baseball glove, maybe if she frames a picture of the glove and one picture of her family together will relate more to the text.
Doris

Fred's Project

I love his main page. He begins with an image of himself with a big wide smile. The image is white and black which makes it more interesting and to me it represents the past. It's spontaneous, not centered, a head shot, and not too serious. It definitely captures my attention. It makes me want to see his other images and I love his sense of humor.

Doris

Fred's Final Review.

The text was very small in the Introduction.

His mom was hiding behind the staircase which said to me that she is very camera shy, but he still wanted to incorporate her in his 'Home' project.

I love the slideshow with the huge cross, it reminds me of the film 'The Passion of the Christ'.

For your fans slideshow, you showed your great grandmother and said she was the eldest of 12, he could have showed the big family that he mentioned in his text.

3rd

Matt

I really like your opening music. We got lots of information from his first text; he is going to marry in September, and he help to build a church. Matt come from other state and moving to NY with his friends, I think you can tell audience some story from your past, not just your friends, or your relationship with church, I think it will be great to peer other people. Matt did the good job on the page with her GF, I like the way he presents, I think friends play a big part of your life. Great job!



Jen

Jen put a diagonal picture on her opening page, it’s very creative because I try to flit my computer and can see it clearly. (from her blogspot) It brought us the message that she felt home when she is there. It’s easy to understand that why you put this picture connect to your text. From your roommate picture, shows relationship between you and you roommate, you felt happy live with them. Then you show us the picture in Jordan, it’s important to you because your gain experiments from travel. Since you are really independent and intelligent, you can focus on something that audience really wish to know, maybe do you got the hard time live without your family, or what makes you feel you are the home. Anyway I like your project.

Safiya

It’s a little confused about the opening picture, while I read the text and realized why is that important to you, family took big part of your home concept. I think you can take a picture from behind while your sister is drawing that picture for you. I like your flag, it’s really important to you and audience can catch up your feeling easily. Since you brought audience to your world, you can give us more stories about your hometown, I would like to see what’s different between the home here. Good job, Safiya.

Eddie

I like the way you starting to show us your concept about home. Your first picture shows your family members, I think it’s a really good picture because their emotion and the background attract audience’s eye, we can see you have a good time with them. You next picture shows your brother and your mom, you can tell us more stories about them. I really like your designs in the pages, how picture and texts located, you did the good job.

Reviewing Elaina's Final Project.

In one of her slides she missed a word.

From her text I can see that she's communicating with the audience, and it doesn't necessarily have to be the class that she's talking to.

Elaina, I can't believe you like math, seriously who loves math. It was good knowing that about you though.

On most of your slides I would just say to probably have the words a little less, because it was a lot to take in at one time.

The slide of your high school sweetheart was good but it was a little too personal for me.

I loved your health slide when you showed the dirty sneaker and your iPod and towel, it shows that you like to work out and I can definitely see thatjust by looking at you. Overall GREAT JOB on the wiki because I know it can be tough setting up a new one.

Reviewing Ling's Final

I love Ling's new intro, it's great and very creative. The text was a little hard to read at times. It's ironic that he would say that he doesn't like Chinatown. The image of the bust stop was great, however I would have loved to see him actually wait by the bus stop, when his food slide came on, he could've actually had himself partaking of the food. The music is sad like he lost his one true love or someone either died. The ceramic photo is great, I want one just like it.

I believe Ling's text was totally different from his music and pictures, it seemed that he hated music at the beginning, however a better choiced instrumental would have been key in this situation.

The photography slide show was very hard to read, because his contrast with the text color and the text background was way off.

The text for night fall was very emotional; it showed a softer side to LIng so GOOD JOB BUDDY!!!!!

His punctuation for the Ceramic slide needs some work.

I liked that he made his slide show sort of like a notebook; it looked like he was entering a journalism or diary piece which in turn made the audience feel a little closer to him, so he connected with the audience on that aspect.

Reviewing Yael's Final Wiki.

Her links work great except for the baseball one. I believe that in the pink blanket, it would have been better if it were opened up. I believe the picture of her friend Elana would have been a better opening picture(main picture).

Karen's Home

Karen opens up with a picture taken out a car window looking at a 711. The only problem was that I couldnt tell what exactly was going. It might have been the projection or maybe the picture could be more clear. From the text I got the sense that home is merely a location to her. I was curious if there are any aspects of a certain location that make home home to you. You also refer to the picture specifically in the text which is not allowed. The next picture had a door open which was very inviting and matched well with the "welcome" in the text. I didn't understand the hammers at first but after reading the text I really understood why they were there and liked that you put them there. However I think your best picture was of the couch. I liked how you put three pictures of the couch on the page to show its versatility. The text also shows the differing activities that occur on the couch.

Karen's Home

Karen's first page opened with a blue backround and a very eye catching picture. The picture was taken from the car of a 7-11 after dark. The ground was very wet which matched well with the blue backround. In Karen's first paragraph she introduced herself, which set the audience as strangers. She described what it was like moving from Monsey to Queens. The photo gave a gloomy effect while the text had the exact opposite effect. I thought a picture of 7-11 was a great way to open the project because 7-11 is something which connects to both Karen's old home and her new home. Her next page was 'Welcome.' The picture was of an open door with a sign which said 'Tamar and Karen', and the door was slightly open where you were able to see a leg inside. This picture had a very myterious effect on the page and made you want to go inside and see what was there. The next page was the couch. This page was great because you really got a sense of what the couch is used for. There was a picture of Karen and Tamar standing on their heads on the couch, a picture of the view from the couch and another picture of Karen and a friend on the couch. Her text matched well to the photos because she described how everything is done on this couch.
-Yael

Karen's home project

I really liked your project. It had an iteresting mood to it. The pictures had a gloomy, dark atmosphere, I really liked that. I was interested because your text was very cheery, I'm not sure if that was intentional, but it was intersting. What went well also was that the comparison of the picture and text, as well as the back round. The colors faded from a dark blue to a bright yellow, following the theme. I think that a lot of the text needs more. I think that there is a lot to work with with the pictures and your stories, you just have to provide that. The couch picture worked. I got the feeling that you spend all of your time on there and it looks fun and cozy. Overall, the text needs to draw me in and stay interested, rather than telling me facts about a story that I was not apart of; I need to feel a connection to the story or object.

Karen's Home

I like your opening picture, because it's miserable and finally we figure out that picture is taken in a rainy day while you driving, maybe you can make it bigger, so audience can see it better. You did the good job on how to position these pictures, but from the test, I can't seem how is that connect to your home. I like your third image, which shows your couch. You mention your apartment is small, so couch become your important place for doing everything. For text part, it's easy let audience understand your feeling about the couch. I really like the pictures shows you and your friend's laptop, and TV set in the background, the only critique is you can make text more specific.

Home Project

Karen- I can't seem to figure out if the first image is supposed to show gloomy in a sad way or a good way. I understand the paragraph about how home is changed yet you still find similarities such as the local seven eleven. Are you trying to portray that you miss your old home and this is just not the same, or is this a presentation of you glad to see that your new home can be very similar to your old home and this is a good thing. The distance to seven eleven is important as well. Has this place become a home to you as you have mentioned in the paragraph or are you afraid to enter. Also your text is very happy, yet your pictures are dark. The picture of your door is a good way to introduce your apartment. You are inviting through the front door which is cordial and a good way to start. The images on the sides are very helpful. Had you not had the pictures of the hammer, we may not have understood your text about building your apartment and the importance of that sense of independent. You show that you and your roommate tend to procrastinate which is VERY common in college students. The three locks on the door may tell us that you don't really feel so secure in your new home. Two girls living on their own in a new place can be scary. Are you scared? You can go into that perhaps. The last image of the couch is cute. Your lifestyle revolves around lounging around on the couch just doing your thing whatever it is you want to do. My only advice for revision would be to work on luring in your audience better within your paragraphs.

Home Project analysis

Matt- I liked the way you opened up your first slide with music. It set a mood for the entire project. It was a very romantic beginning. You set the tone that this will be a serious presentation. But then in your paragraph you introduce yourself to us in a very casual and less serious way. The first picture of any presentation not only has to bring in the audience and make us want more but also has to be a introduction that will introduce the rest of your pictures. I like that this is where you are going to begin because its like you start by telling us where you are now and then you go into how you get their which is a cool way to bring in the audience. Such as the reason you came to NY and the friends you came with. The slide of the church has a lot of new information which I don't think the image really portrays. You cant really tell your in a church and it seems before reading it that you are in a band and that is why you came to NY. Your friends picture is really authentic and beautiful.

Jen- My only issue with your project was your text that was hard to read. I like the way you start with the sideways picture. It shows that you are unique and you don't want to portray yourself in a plain fashion. Also the word ME flashing makes me feel like its a show on Broadway or something. You are flashing to the audience that this presentation will be entertaining. The picture of your friends show you guys are being adults together and being independent living on your own. Its very exciting and nervous at the same time. You guys rely on each other like family and have that sort of comfort. You cook together which shows unity inside your apartment. You have established your own community away from the community you grew up in which shows character in you. The way you spoke about the "girls bunk" gives a sense of youth and that there is also a "boys bunk." The Petra slide connects to both previous slides. You are with your friends but it also shows your adventurous and unique. Home seems to follow you wherever you go. Is this your theme? If so its really go and you should continue it in my opinion.

Safiya- Your first slide is a bit confusing to me. I understand how this image is important to you. You received it from your sister and it made you realize how much she looked up to you. However, I wonder what home is to you through this image. My opinion of revision would be to defiantly keep this image up because it is important but maybe choose a new home page image to grab the audiences attention. The frenemies picture really portrays your sister and your relationship. Its a cute and catchy title that enhances the audiences attention. The paragraph as well shows us your relationship with your sister. You talk about how different the two of you are yet how close you could be with her. I like how you mention her age and that you respect her as if she is not younger than you. Your image on Trinbingonia shows us where you come from which is interesting and important. I like the way you show us how each color reminds you of something else and its more that just as flag to you.

Eddie- The red background shows boldness. The boldness which introduces to us what kind of person you are. The choice of the first image shows how you think that family and having a good time is important to you. Your family means a lot to you and you want to show us that. I like how you used Albanian language to introduce yourself. You are bilingual and should use it throughout your presentation if that's whats important to you. The picture of your brother and mother confuses me. By just looking at the picture I notice that there is a lot of love and care for the two people in the image. It is a blizzard outside which can be uncomfortably cold yet they are just happy to be together in the picture. You however are not in the image yet you discuss your relationship to each of them. Are you as close with your mother as your brother seems to look in this picture? I would like to see more stories involved. You mention in the first image where that picture was taken but you didn't put it in your paragraph. You should, it will appeal to the audience.

Karen

Opening picture has mystery in it and it attracted my eyes. I like the mystery in contrast with the cheery way that you write. It adds mystery and contrast. The open door adds tot eh mystery of your pictures. I like the interesting take on your couch picture with the other over lapping pictures. Perhaps add some of that mystery to the writing. I love the way you formatted the document!
Jen

Karen's presentation by: Eddie

Karen:
You did a good job on your presentation but your opening page gave me a feeling of “midnight” and it was also a gloomy feeling which did not match your happy writing. I thought that your other pictures were a bit more interesting such as the door to your apartment and the couch. Maybe you should think about switching your home page picture because I found myself really intrigued by the open door picture and not so much by the 7/11 picture. My favorite photograph was the couch. I thought you did a great job showing your point of view and I felt that because of the way the picture was taken and because of your writing I was starting to understand your concept of home more clearly. You gave us an idea of home by explaining how this couch was so comfortable and relaxing so I thought that this is what home means to you. I especially enjoyed the line “I do all my assignments here including this one.” The writing that you used made the audience feel like they were a part of your home so I thought that you did a great job doing so. I think that your pictures were good but remember to improve your homepage, other than that you did a great job.

Karen's Home.

My first thoughts of Karen's home was blue. The picture showed that she was in her car and perhaps it was raining. This reminded me of something cold, however I was surprised to see that it wasn't a fountain because it sure looked that way to me. The text was not exactly linking to the image in the way that I thought that it would. The look of the project, however was gloomy but the text was bubbly and cheerful. The text was a little boring, she could have said more expressive colorful words to keep my attention.

The second picture was very strange, the door was open and a leg of some sort was showing, however the audience doesn't know whose own it is. I feel that the audience is there and that she's talking to us.

The third image was good, it shows that she has fun with her friends on this couch. The couch sort of becomes like the dining table where everyone meets. The text shows me that she's talking to us all because we know that just by the simple words she uses to communicate with us.

My critique for her would be to just lighten her photos a bit and add a little more contrast to them, othewise GREAT JOB!!!!!!

Karen's Home

Karen opens with a gloomy picture taken during a stormy night with a 7-11 in the distant view. When reading the text the picture didn't really make a connection to it, since in the she sounded cheerful introducing herself. I like the way she showed us how when moving to Queens from Monsey she still feels like shes at home. The picture of the 7-11 helps the viewer understand it alot better.
The picture welcomes us into her apartment in Queens where the door looks slightly open expressing us that we are welcomed. She then tells us the story how when she moved in they didn't realize it had to be build which they had to do with friends. It seems very factual but you might think about making it a little more descriptive. In her final picture Karen shows us her point of view of her couch, I find the picture very fascinating since she also shows us some clever frame work showing us pictures in different frames. The way she set it up was also very clever showing us that the laptops with the pictures of her and her friends are infront of the TV shows us how to her friends come before the outside world. It was a very fasinating presentation and the pictures were great but you should think about how to make the text more descriptive than factual.

Home

Matt Home

I really liked how Matt opened up his first page with a song. I thought that it went really well with the picture of his fiancée and his feelings towards her. From Matt’s first slide I learned a lot about him that I did not know before, like he came from Kentucky in hopes of building a church and that he was getting married in September this made me want to read more and find out other interesting things I do not know. Matt’s next slide was about his church. From his text you I could tell that his church meant a lot to him and that he put a lot of time and effort into building it. My only suggestion would be to maybe include a picture of the outside of the church, or the big crowd of people that show up each week instead of the band.

Jen Home

Jen’s concept of home was very different from everyone else’s. That being said I really liked it. I liked how she relates home to a feeling of comfort and the ability to adapt and make wherever you are at the time home. Her first picture of her sideways pointing to herself showed that she makes home wherever she is and that no matter where she is she makes the best of each situation. You see this come up again in the picture of her and her roommate in Jordan, Even though they were in a scary place and were kind of nervous they made the best of the situation and ended up having a good time. I also really liked how Jen connects her past home with her current and future home. In the slide of her current home I liked the picture of her two roommates, but it would have been even better had she chosen a picture that showed the three of them.

Safiya Home

From the first page I thought that safiya’s concept of home would be similar to Jen’s, from her title and her first photo, which were both of her name. However after reading her text you were able to tell that family makes up a big part of Safiya’s home. In the text we found out how important her picture was to her and that her sister had made it for her. I think that by adding her sister to the picture it would have made the image stronger and showed the relationship, without reading the text. I really liked the page with her countries flag and her text about the flag. It showed a lot of emotion, a sense of pride and dedication to where she comes from, which is something many of us can relate to. I think that the only thing that needs to be changed would be the background, so that it would be easier to read.

Eddie Home

I really liked the way Eddie set up his pages, even though they did not show up the way he intended I thought it looked really good. I also liked how Eddie used another language to describe his concept of home and how home for him is in two places. His first picture was of his family, however I did not see Eddie in the picture. From this picture you were able to see how happy his family is and how much fun they have together. Eddies next picture was of his mom and brother, the text talked about his relationship with them but again he was not in the picture.

may 2 presentations by Eddie

Matthew:
I really enjoyed your presentation. You did a good job and it was great that you put your project on the wiki. I especially enjoyed the photographs of your friends that you came to New York with. It was an interesting picture because it was black and white and your friends looked really young. So I was shocked to find out that they were actually married. I thought that you did a good job in your text and it was evident that friends equal home to you. I also found it very interesting that you are engaged and I would have loved to find out more about that but unfortunately I missed the first few minutes of your presentation. The only thing that I think you can improve on is maybe putting some photographs of your church because you mention it very often.

Jen:
You did a really cool presentation, I love the opening picture of yourself, and it showed a lot of personality on its own. I thought that the photograph of your roommates was good and it explained what home is to you but I was not completely drawn into it, maybe you could add a picture of you and your roommates together. My favorite picture was of you in Jordan, I thought this was especially interesting since you are from Israel. You did mention worrying when you were on your trip but I would have loved if you elaborated on why did you worry? And why did you decide to go to Jordan to begin with? Another thing that you may want to add is if you are bilingual then maybe express that in your writing.


Safiya:
You chose a good opening picture which was really creative. I don’t know that the background was the best color for it because it took away from the photograph. I also think that you should make the picture a little bit bigger so we get a better view of it. I was surprised to find out in your text that your sister had made this for you so it gave the picture a whole new meaning. It gave the photograph a meaning of love and compaction which I thought was really great. My suggestion would be to maybe put a picture of your sister next to the graffiti picture so we are not confused to the meaning of the graffiti photograph (at first I thought that you thought you were at the center of what you believed to be home but then reading your text I realized that it was your family). My favorite picture was of your countries flag. I thought that this picture showed a whole other level to your definition of home. Immediately I recognized the flag and thought of the world cup where Trinidad and Tobago did very well for a small nation. I would have really loved if you spoke a bit more about your life in Trinidad and Tobago. Also it would be great if you showed some photographs of the scenery there. I was also interested in knowing how life in Trinidad and Tobago differs from live here in the United States. Other than that it was a really well done presentation.

5.02.07

Matt
The song Matt opened up with was a great way to express his feelings towards his fiancée; the background he gives us about how they met is very interesting and also seems to be like a plot to a movie. I liked the way you acknowledge both New York and Louisiana to be great cities. I found very kind and generous that you would spend your time building a church that you weren’t even sure people would come to, however you should mention the religion you built it for as well.
I like the way you showed us how your friends are really always there for you no matter what, the fact that you met them not so long before they invited you into their house shows a lot of character from them and also helps us understand how you consider them as a family. You used friends in the last clip that was viewed which definitely showed us how much friend’s equals family to you. You however think about another way of phrasing either type of those friends just to make it seem a little different than the other.

Jen
Jen opens up with a diagonal picture of herself pointing at “herself” which to me seems very self obsorped and might give off the sense that she views herself as home. Which is a very clever concept, and helps us understand that you feel that where ever you go you’ll always be at home. When you show us the picture of you and your roommates which to you are another thing that reminds you of home in Jordan. Jordan is a place I have never been or would probably go to, but you went and even mention how at first you were afraid but near the end you felt comfortable to even smile, this shows how no matter where you are you feel at home.

Safiya
Your opening is very creative, but I think you can position the paper differently by putting the graffiti in the background and your sister and you in the front. You mention how the picture makes you feel at home because you received it from your sister. It shows the love you share with her, which is pretty ironic using her in the next link Frienemies where she poses with you seeming like there is a lot of tension going on there.
In your last picture you show your true nationality and your writing shows a lot of compassion towards the land. The only editorial advice I would give you to rearrange the background in most of your slides.

Home Feedback

Jen

I thought your opening picure was good, it showed that you are always at home because home has to do with you. You have many different "homes" that you make your home. The apartment picture gave me a sense of fun that you have with your roommates. The dialogue and the picture go well together, with the picture of you guys making dinner together and then talking about it in the paragraph. The Petra page showed you on vacation. In the text I got the sense that you are a spontaneous person who handles adversity well. I wish however that you talked more about Petra. What exactly is there that you wanted to see?

Safiya

The opening picture was a picture of graffiti with your name. I didnt get a feel of any relationship from the picture however. After I read the text I realized that your sister drew that for you and then I got the connection. I especially liked that you gave goals for your paper and what we can expect from your paper. The frienemies page was a nice twist to what we have seen. Through your deception we learned how close you and your sister really are. The page with the flag shows your pride for your country. I wish you would have explained more about your country though.

Eddie

You began with a picture of your family in Albania. I got a clear picture of what home was to you. In your text you should avoid speaking directly about the photograph, rather tell a story about what you are showing. The picture of your mom and brother showed a good relationship; however you didnt talk about the relationship in your paragraph. In general I think you should include more stories rather than generalzations.

Eddie's Home.

My first thought on the photograph of Eddie's main picture was that the styling reminded me of scrap booking which I love doing in my spare time, so immediately I related to him on that. My other thought after examining the photo was:"Where's Eddie?" When I read his text I got the sense that he was a low maintenance individual who didn't like stress in his life. The drinks that his family hold in the picture, gives me a sense that they don't like stree either and they want to have a good time.

My thought of his image with his brohter and mother in the photo was "Jeez!! isn't it cold out there, why are they outside in the storm". When I read his text I thought that it was too general and I believe he should've spent more time describing his feelings anytime he looks at that photo and less time on describing it. Other than that great job in translating the word 'home' for the whole class in Albanian, do more of that and that would be a great thing.

Peer Review

Matt "Shemmy"
I like the opening picture the music showa emotion it was a nice touch. It is also a playful touch to pick a more funloving picture of him and his fiance. Your project is mor eof an offering to the audience which I like. In the picture "why i came to N.Y" I was wondering how the band connected to the church you helped build. Maybe talk more specifically about the religion. "Friends I cam to New York With" I like the black and white picture, it was something new. I thought it was intriguing how a married couple took you in maybe specify what you want us to get out of the photo. In the photo "other friends" what makes this picture special.

Safia
I misread the opening image not as something portraying a relationship, but something more indavidual. It could be more personal if you include a picture of your sister aswell. The picture showing the relationship with your sister was staged very well and I liked the relationship it portrayed. The Trinbagonian flag picture seems a little unnatural the way it was cropped. Perhaps clarify some of the things you talk about in that picture.

Eddie "Shpya"
I like the use of the different language, but perhaps a translation so we are not all so confused. I like your opening photo looks like fun. In the picture of your family does the cold have something to do with your family what is important to you? You need to draw the audience in more perhaps an example or a story.

Jennifer's Home

My first thoughts of the Jennifer's picture is that she's weird looking and it's tilted and who's finger was that pointing to her? The text to me was a little too analyzed like she was trying to teach us what home should be.

My first thoughts on the images were: Jen is independent. My thoughts on the text is that she is very close to her friends and considers them her family now that she is not with her family in Jersey.

My first thought of the Petra photo is: She's not in America anymore. She showed the background of the building(Petra) and she gave a little story about what she did and how she viewed everything.

From Nicole DeLeo

Day 3 of Home Project Presentation

Matt
I like your text with the addition of the audio. I think the music was a very unique touch, and it worked well for your project. The music brings feeling into the text, the music sort of cushions the feeling we are supposed to obtain from your text. It's like a sad movie scene, the music of the scene makes it 100x sadder... your music made your project 100x more meaningful. Aside from the music I'd like to see a little more debt in your text to really bring the point home. Your pictures were great, but the text really needs to show us what you mean, not tell us. I'd like to see you work on your church slide. I felt the picture and the text didn't correlate to each other. You spoke a lot about the anticipation and the audience, perhaps you can show a crowd of people in the picture. Great Job!

Jen
I really like the individuality of your main page. It's something no one did, so it's good your thinking out of the box. Like I said in class.. you speak a lot about how home is what YOU make it as a person, home is not a "specific" place but rather where you find happiness, comfort, or what "you" make it. The picture you took of you pointing to yourself is taken in an actual home which is you get my point kind of contradicts what your really unique point of home is. Perhaps a shot of you outside with a road (to represent travel), or a sky behind you might depict your point of home better. I like the picture of your apartment with the roof cropped, it was a great idea... this picture represents your Home perspective to the fullest that home has no boundaries and that your can expand your home and there are no limits to what might be considered home. I really enjoyed your project!

Safia
The opening picture is a great way to represent yourself because it has Safia written in colorful text, these colors could represent a different side of you while all connected by the drip marks. This could represent that there might be different sides (or colors) to you but they are all connect by something (the drip marks) this picture has a lot of potential of being a profound representation of your project. If you do not like this suggestion and that picture strictly reminds you of your sisters love admiration toward you, then I would also suggest that the picture should include more elements in it like your sister handing you the picture, or something other than "only" the picture because it's obvious it's "more" than a picture to you. Either way I would revise your text or picture in the opening slide. I love when you associated each color of your heritage flag to a certain memory, that was a really good way of bringing something general (like the flag) to something abstract and personal. Good Job!

Eddie
I love your graphics design on word... very stylish! I loved how you incorporated the multilingual words. By doing so it really represented the "here" and "there" part of the project. Though you feel home can be here or there, the one thing that connects the two end points is your family and that's really sweet way of viewing home. Your family seems like it bridges that gap between "here" and "there." The only thing is that your text needs to be a little more personal. My suggestion is to ask questions to the audience through out your text, this really captures the audience and helps them think of their home as well as yours. Wonderful job!

Matt's Home.

I love the way that he had music on his profile; the music is a sentimental song. When I read this all I said was "Aww!! that's so sweet". I had no idea that Matt was engaged or that he was so old(no offense Matt). It was sweet for him showing his emotional side, that's a great way for him to get someone's attention.

My first thought of the image was that there's a professional band playing music.

In Matt's photo of his roomates, my first thought was confusion; I didn't know what was going on. In the text my first thoughts were "I had no idea they were married". I believe he could've showed that he was in the picture with his friends that helped him.

When I saw the picture, my first reaction was happiness and closeness but the text was a little short but despite that I can see that he considers his friends his family.

Nicole Terrano's Home.

My first thoughts of the picture was family and closeness. The text was very interesting, I liked the idea that she admires her parents so much;it's so rare to find that for someone her age.

My first reaction of her Mr.Bear is that, he is very spoiled. The way that it's treated like a human. The text was very personal, her bear is her best friend that knows all her secrets. It sort of reminds me of the LonelyGirl15 series.

My first thought of the picture was: Matt could be her boyfriend. I thought that this could be her prom picture. Matt is in fact her boyfriend, she's close to her boyfriend's family so that says a lot. The trees represent growth and prosperity and this is a symbol of their love for one another, it shows that their relationship could also blossom like that tree.

Nicole Deleo's Home.

When I first saw Nicole's picture(Introduction) I was impressed at the different parts of her body. I love the colors for the project. The text to me was sort of like a valedictoian speech. I feel like I'm reading her diary. I can relate to her because that's how I am with my work.

When I saw this picture, I saw that it's a collage and it's bright and colorful. The picture reminds me of her life when she was a little girl. The text was really emotional especially when she talked about her grandmother.

My first thought of the Blockbuster picture was getting an insight into her job and she's putting the audience in her shoes, letting them see behind the camera. The text was really great, she talked about the significance of Blockbuster in her life and the importance her mother's friend that got her the job.

John's Home.

My first thoughts on John's picture was "What are they looking at?" When I read the text I enjoyed it the most because it was great he gave us a keen sense of what his family was about.

When I saw Cara(John's sister) I thought that she was ignoring her brothers and just concentrating on the camera. She seems to like talking on the phone.

My first idea of the TV picture was that John liked old school shows, the very same shows that we were comparing his family too. When I first saw the text it didn't relate to the picture that he had there.

The picture that I saw of John and his friend was "They're crazy, what are they doing?" I thought it was his girlfriend at first. When I read the text, my thoughts were: he really likes his friend a lot.

Ling's Home.

I like Ling's introduction, it's really good. I love the style of writing he uses, it reminds me of a long time ago when thos people in the 19th century would write in their diary, however with his up to date pictures e.g. computers, iPods bring us back to this generation.

The image of a tree that looks like the flowers are missing is strange to me, I just don't know what it's supposed to represent. I thought that the text for the pictures was just Ling describing the atmosphere of where he lived at the time. However I agree with Jennifer when she said that he should've described what the pictures are personally to him.

For Ling's Spring picture, it was very blue but it looked a little cold. When I read the text I thought he should've elaborated a bit more or have a picture of the balloon festival that he wrote about.

When I first saw the picture of the computer of Ling's computer, it looked a little blurry and I couldn't make out what it said. When I read the text, I thought that Ling REALLY liked his computer a lot. It was very interesting to see and read.

Peer Review

Ling
I like the way that it was written in scrap book style the animation is amazing! You may need to explain your home page a little more. In the environmental page you should explain how that breeds a sense of home. Perhaps include less facts and more emotion. I like the thumb tacks and scissors, you stylistically keep an ongoing theme which is good. Small grammar mistakes that can easily be fixed.

John
Your project has a very sitcomy feel to it, the perfect family. When looking at the first page of your project from the start I feel like i am a viewer about to be introduced to the characters of your family. Cara the sister is very cliche on the phone, you see the suburbia in the back ground. In the T.V picture perhaps bring in a specific memory. Although, I like the play on words making your T.V your best friend. I like the angular view of the photo. The Tali picture the relationship from that picture is ambiguous is that what you wanted.

Nikki

Your opening page is very book like. There are a lot of cutesy metaphors. I like the way she asks questions to the audience and gives them choices. In the Barbie picture the photo itself is very colorful and appealing to the eye. I think that the narrative is a little to long. The Blockbuster shot I like the double shot. Although the text is a little hard to read. i like the way it leads into the other photos.

Nicole

Your opening page intrigues me because I don't know that many only children. I am wanting to know more about the dynamic of your family. The Mr. Bear picture was an interesting way to pose a stuffed animal. The Matt picture poses two different cultures coming together perhaps you can elaborate on that. Also elaborate on the type of relationship.

Yael

Jon's Home:
We instantly learned that Jon’s concept of home is family. The page opened with a picture of his family all looking at a computer. Jon described his family to be the typical 21st century family. He wrote about each family members role in the family. He also noted that his family is always there and that his parents are around whenever he has a problem. The picture was great it that it led one to ask questions. I had a hard time relating the text to the picture. We then got to know Cara. We saw a picture of Cara on her cellphone in the street with Jon and his brother in the backround. Jon wrote about the arguments and fights he has with Cara but he pointed out that his is part of his concept of home. I was interested in this page because I always see girls like Cara on T.V and movies so it was interesting to really what it is like to live with a typical teenage girl like this one. We then got to meet a close friend of Jon, his TV. An old show was playing but on a modern, new TV. Jon writes about the T.V like it’s a real person and says that is has been there for him all through the years. We then met an actual human friend of Jon, Tali. The picture right away yelled out FUN. Something seemed to be a little romantic about this page. Tali is a best friend to Jon and he feels like he is on the top of the world when with her. I slowly began to believe Jon that Tali is just a friend when I then read the line about Tali being his best looking fan. I knew it was written as a joke but you know what they say-there is truth in every joke!

Nicole:The Elements of Nicole
Nicole’s page definitely had the WOW affect. The opening page was nicely decorated with a broken up picture of Nicole and then some books which gave us the impression that Nicole is intellectual and likes to learn. She instantly drew the audience in when she said I welcome YOU. She wrote about how we all have a front and a back stage and we don’t really get to know people. She then invited us to come and see her backstage, to begin the journey. She directly addressed the audience which was great. She then wrote about aspiration and wrote about how education, morals, and stress- how much she loves it and how much she hates it. We then got a glimpse of Nicole when her life was not stressful. The photo was of barbies which was very creative. I thought this page was great because I really felt I could relate to it. She discussed making a mess, playing on the floor, Barbie drama. This reminds Nicole of her grandmother who passed away when she was young. Nicole then drew the audience in even more as she opened up emotionally. We then went to Nicoles work, Blockbuster. We saw a picture of Nicole behind the counter with a coworker whih was cool because it appeared to be a candid photo. It was nice to hear about how Nicoles work has become a second home to her, and how she even gets together with her co workers outside of work. This was interesting because it is rare to find people to in love with their work.

Nikki:
Nikkis page opened with her parents. We learned of the very close relationship Nikki has with her parents, being that she is an only child. Her concept of home is family and the good times they have had. She looks up to her parents and they have been there for her always. The picture emphasized her text even more, as the photo of her parents closely hugging showed what lovable and caring people they are. We were then introduced to Mr. Bear. Mr. Bear was in a nice bed under the covers, all taken care of. He seems to be sleeping in the bed the same way a person does. Nikki told us about how attached to Mr.Bear she has been. Mr. Bear is a huge part of Nikki’s life and is part of her family. The text matches her photo well in that the picture shows that Mr. Bear really is treated like another child of the family. Another special someone in Nikki’s life is Matt. In the photo Matt and Nikki are standing very close together but are still very relaxed. He is a boy friend and a best friend to Nikki. She writes how well they know eachother and what a major part of her life he is. Nikki and Matt like to try new things together. With Matt she experienced her first Greek Easter and her first gyro. As the picture and text both clearly expressed Nikki and Matt have a very special close relationship.

Ling's Home

The second Lings main Home page popped everyone, everyone was blown away. The photo contained 2 laptops each with flowers in the backround and 2 long speakers behind the computers. Ling wrote about how it is difficult to get into society. That there are different cultures around him but he has learned a lot while also keeping some of his own customs. States that a lot of people have helped him. The way in which it is written is in a personal way. The style around the text gives it a scrapbook type look. We were then led to entertainment. Ling discussed the difference in climate in New Mexico and the West. In NM, the morning begins with a low temperature and it gets hotter and dry as the afternoon comes in. Ling’s text is very informative and interesting, but it was hard to grasp what emotions he was expressing. The photo on this page were 2 overlapping photos, one of New Mexico and one of the West One was sunny and bright while the other was dark and gloomy. The quality of the picture was great. Next was Spring. The pictures were of a tree beginning to bud and a sunset over water. The photos seemed to be expressing introspection. Ling discussed how much he loves spring season- snow melts, grass comes out, hotter outside, newness, hope, running, sports, hiking, outdoors. We learned about the International Balloon Fiesta in NM. We then learned about Ling’s relationship to computers which no one was surprised about. The photo was of a computer screen from below which showed his respect and admiration. Ling wrote about how much he enjoys figuring out how computer hardware works. We saw how educated Ling is when it comes to computers and how interested he is in learning even more. ling had a great presentation. It was very informative and that layout and design was amazing!-Yael

Nicole DeLeo

Day 2

LING

I loved the format of your project! The graphics were really good! Your photography skills are great. The only downfall of the project that I'd like you to critique, is that the text related to the pictures I feel do not capture the audience. Not only do you need the pictures/graphics to captures the audience you also need the text. The pictures should tell the story you want to present the text should make that story personal. Ask questions, pretend you are walking down a dirt road with the audience and ask them questions about themselves and pretend you are reminiscing with them, not to them.

John

I like your strategy of where you are going with the Home project. Your into movie making and I love how you related that and made in a theme to your Home project. The first picture of your family is really good, and we get a clear concept of what your home/family life is like. Though the picture is a very candid shot, the picture neglects the audience... the pictures represents the story you are aiming to tell but the text should be really inviting to the audience then. Your family also has a cliche aspect to it, but in order for us to be interested in what you want to present we need some individuality in your family, because every family is different. Since there is some comedy in your project, maybe you can bring out a humorous side of your family while inviting the audience to the comedy.

Nicole T

You did a great job generating the concept of home. I love the way you presented a history with Mr. Bear. Nicole obviously sees so much life in Mr. Bear and the picture represents the life she sees in him, cuddled up in her bed like a human, also the drives the point home with her text. Her memory with Mr. Bear represents her love and devotion to the Bear and it drives the audience to really see that. In all of her text I'd like to see more of a personal relationship with her audience and herself.

Nicole DeLeo

Sorry I couldn't figure out my password to blogspot this is why I am doing day 1 and day 2 of the Home presentation all together, and I also forgot how to post on blogspot... sorry... sometimes i am not the brightest crayon in the tool shed! =/

Day 1

YAEL

Yael was the first one to go, which is rough so I admire her for that. Her concept of home which I got was that home can be in many places; not just at the "home." If she meant to give off this perception of home then she did a really good job, however i felt she was trying to give off a more in debt perception of home which was difficult for me to gather, so I feel she needs to gather all the aspects of her life and umbrella them into one theme. She needs to use that theme to generate her Home and provoke them in a way where the audience is captured by them. Her pictures need to provoke feeling alone, not just text. Also relate each picture with a memory that mainly captures how you feel about that aspect of your life.

ELAINA

Elaina did a great job and I feel her goal is there, but she does needs to work on it so it's right a way captured by the audience. I like how she used a picture of her family, not only to show "this is my family", but to demonstrate that families can grow and welcome new people as well like her sister-in-law. I knew what she meant about her sister-in-law and didn't mean it in a way the class took it. It's important to keep in mind what your audience might perceive each picture and each text to be, so since the class took it in a way that wasn't true is something you can work on. Also your text should show us the relationship your trying to demonstrate, not tell us. Plus something that really helps is that you should ask the audience questions through out your text, this really brings the audience in. I loved what you were trying to show and I really like the theme of your project. Good Job!

FRED

You did a great job in using self explanatory pictures. You really used interesting pictures to describe his home life, and I feel you understood that the pictures need to evoke feeling in the audience, not just when we read the text. What I gathered about the project is that we need to use the picture to tell the story and corner the audience into the perception we want them to think, we only need the text to drive the point home, and to bring the audience into the "moment." I saw a lot of that in yours however the text is a little bit to personal and seems it just about you when in fact the project is about the audience being about you... ask more questions in your text before you reminisce a memory, this captures the audience in a personal way.

Home Project

Ling Home

Ling’s set up was very impressive. You could tell that he put a lot of work and effort into it. I really liked how he placed his first picture on the cover of a book. This showed that it is the beginning of a story and it made me want to “turn the pages” and read on. Ling used some great pictures that showed how excellent of a photographer he is. He angled his shots well, like the one of his computer screen and we were able to really see his relationship to it. The only thing I think that Ling that would make his project even better would be to continuously be personal in all of his slides.

John’s Home

From the first page you can see that to John home is family and he used a creative interesting way to show it. One of John’s slides showed a TV with an old family sitcom playing. I though that this was a really good choice because on the first slide John introduces his family like typical characters you would find on one of these shows. This made me want to see more like TV shows are designed to do. On the slide about his sister Cara, we are able to clearly see the reason why he describes her as he does. From this picture we are also able to see more of where John lives. In his last picture of his best friend Tali you were able to see the close relationship that they share, and sticking with the TV theme, maybe setting up a future storyline.

Nikki’s Home

Nikki did a great job in pulling the reader in and making me want to get to know her. She titled her project “the elements of Nicole” and placed small pictures of different parts of her face, representing all the different parts and sides to her we are going to get to know. She then opened up with an inviting introduction. I really liked how she actively gave us choices throughout, as a viewer it made it more interesting and fun to sit through. Nikki took really good pictures. I liked the picture of her books, which related that she was smart and studious, something that I had already known just from sitting in class with her this semester. I also liked how she used two pictures to describe her work. Her caption read something like “not just work, but a second home,” she used one picture that represented the work side of her job and the other showed why she called it a second home by showing her working and having fun with her coworkers, who are also her friends.

Nicole’s Home

Nicole associates home with family. You can see from her first slide that here parents are a big part of her life. It was nice to see that after so many years her parents are still in love, in a world where that is becoming increasingly more rare. What also interested me was that she is an only child who did not miss out on much. Her parents were and still are very involved in her life. Nicole mentioned that they are her best friends and when she was small they were the ones who would play with her. Her next picture was of Mr. bear. You could tell by the way Nicole personified this bear. It was and still is a big part of her life. She told us a story about her bear, which showed us how important he was to her. In the picture Mr. Bear was laying in her bed, his head on the pillow with the covers pulled up around him. In the text Nicole mentioned how Mr. bear is a part of her family and how he knows all of her secrets.

Home Project 2nd

Thanks for your guys criticism.

John:
John's opening page is great, show his family members focus on something. Everyone's position is well, because your parents sitting in the front; and your little sister standing there, and we can see her; you and your brother after your parents. It's really give audients some attention about how your family act as a group. Then shows your sister Cara, she was on the phone, I like the way you call her "Oh my god" because it's seems very familiarity.About your and your friend Tali's picture, I think it's really cool, I like the way your catch the best scene with her. Good job.

Nikki:
Your project is really good, I like it very much. First, I like the way you present your "elements", it's really a cool idea, that shows you are a good designer. Color and location is good too; Second, you have good introducation in the opening page, that lead audients can easily concentrate on what you are saying. I like your second picture too, because the notebook in the picture is kind of design, it took me for a while to figure out what it's. third, you feel very open to audients to visit your page, like "welcome", "How do you want to know about me?" it's very confident questions. I also like the way you text relate to your picture, like the barbie one, it give the right position where audients are. overall, it's a excellent work, and give me some hints how to make this project better, just dont get butterflies in your stomach, you are doing great.

Nicole
I like your opening picture because first feeling for me is "sweet", it shows your parents are very important to you. You are the only child in your family, that's interesting for people to konw how was your life going. I really like your Mr. Bear's picture. It's very organize picture, shows your room, your Mr. Bear, I think he is your best friend since you are only child at home, in the other way, I don't know if you like kids or not. Then you show your boyfriend Mat's picture, it's very nice because he is part of your life, and you really should put something you have meet in Irasel in the text because i thought it's very interesting for audients. :)

Home project presentations by: Eddie

Ling:
Ling’s website was absolutely amazing. His photographs were spectacular and they were very professionally done. He put a lot of detail on each page and he spoke a lot about his passions such as computers. What I found strange is that he is a really great photographer so why not speak of photography as one of his passions. As an audience member I notice how well these photographs are taken so I would assume that they are a big part of what defines Ling and also of what defines his home. There were some grammatical errors in his writing and I feel that he needs to speak about his pictures a little bit more, but besides that, everything is great. Another question that kept popping into my head is how does Ling define home, maybe he should elaborate on that.

John:
I noticed that in John’s home project he makes his family look like a sitcom to give it a more interesting feel. I am not so sure about his home page picture because while it did raise some questions, I was not completely intrigued by it. I did see how his family was very important to him and I saw his immediate family all together at once. It made me think that they were very close which often times big families aren’t. I do like how the people are positioned in the photograph, it’s as if were watching a television show. Another photograph which I thought was great was the picture of his television. We saw the Andy Griffith show which gave us a good concept of old and new. It is evident that John enjoys television and movies, he says so in his writing but why doesn’t he elaborate on his love of movies and television into something that he wants to do as a career. Overall I was not drawn into his project very much except for the photograph of him and his friend Tali. That photograph was interesting to me because it showed a relationship and the body language of them in the photograph speak to us, the audience. I for one, thought that the relationship was sensual and romantic but his writing showed otherwise.

Nicole DeLeo:
Nicole’s home project looks great. It resembles a webpage and I am imprest at how much graphic design she was able to do on Microsoft Word. Everything looks like a collage and you see that there are a lot of things happening everywhere on the page. I also enjoy how warm and welcoming the page is. I like the color scheme because it shows her personality in it (for example the pink). Nicole has a great introduction and I enjoyed how she spoke about sociology in the way that people put up a front and that she was letting us, the audience, in to her true self, into her “behind the scenes.” I enjoy how well the links flow and how good her writing is. I also like that in the picture of her Barbies she says “think of when you were young,” she is again bringing the audience in and getting us to think about our own past memories. I also enjoy very much how she links every photograph to memories and to her own concept of home. I think that it is one of the best home projects that I have seen so far and my only suggestion for improvement is to fix some aspects of her grammar.


Nicole Terrano:
Her home page has a very sincere picture of her mom and dad. We get the feeling of warmth and love so we see what it feels like to be part of her home. I also like the part where she wrote “home is about things that remind me of my family and all the good times we have had together.” She explains what home means to her and she describes how memories are important to her. It is also interesting to see how she is an only child and that her parents were the only ones she played with. Another very interesting photograph was of Nicole and her boyfriend. In the picture we see the body language of them suggesting intimacy and closeness. We also see that they are dress formally so I assumed that it may be a prom or a wedding. What I found really interesting is how she spoke about her boyfriend’s Greek heritage and how she was experiencing his heritage. It made me think of how they were mingling their cultures together. I also found it interesting when she said that she went with her boyfriend to Greece to meet his family there. I know that in my own culture I would only be allowed to do this if I was intending to marry the girl, so the subject of marriage arises in my mind. It was also interesting to hear Nicole speak about her experience in Greece so my suggestion is to write those things down. Maybe she should write about that experience in Greece and how difficult or how easy their cultures combine with each others. Overall it was a good project but once again I think that she should get “deeper” in her writing.

(Sorry I posted this so late)